Factorial
May 2009

From Mary Morel

Author, trainer and consultant

www.themfactor.com.au and www.onlinegrammar.com.au

The language of insults

I've been thinking about word choice lately and planned to cover that topic this month. Then a friend emailed me these insults, which were too good to resist.

In an exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor, she said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament said to Disraeli, "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

Churchill's response to Shaw: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one."

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." John Bright

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." Paul Keating on Hewson's performance.

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx

If you want to read more insults, visit http://www.insults.net

More twittering

I'm convinced. A reader sent me a link to a blog (thank you) that suggests 17 ways of using Twitter: http://www.doshdosh.com/ways-you-can-use-twitter.

I also read an article in the AFR Boss (May 2009, Vol 10) that states social media is forcing a shift in consumer power towards a more P2P (peer-to-peer) economy.

Most of us know about Facebook, MySpace, YouTube and Twitter. But the Boss article also mentioned others I thought might interest you.

www.delicious.com Social bookmarking

www.digg.com Share web content

www.bebo.com Sync social networking streams on one platform

www.yammer.com In-house microblogging

www.kiva.org and www.igrin.com.au P2P lending

www.guru.com Freelance marketplace

www.diigo.com Research and knowledge-sharing community

Think I might start a grammar Twitter soon. I'll let you know.

Small business marketing

I wrote my books — Promote Your Business: How to write effective marketing for your business and Talk Up Your Business — because I needed them. Having shifted countries, I naively imagined I could start a business without a marketing plan.

So my books are practical, not theoretical. Marketing seems hard before you've started, but once you're on a roll, it's actually fun.

My books are available on my website (http://www.themfactor.com.au/small-business-marketing-advice-tips-books.htm)l and Allen & Unwin's website (www.allenandunwin.com.au).

Quote of the month

'This is the silliest stuff that I ever heard.'

Midsummer Night's Dream, William Shakespeare